You look confused, eyes tangled
in bewilderment, unsure what comes
next. Flustered words slowly swim
upstream, tangled in the waterweeds
and obscuring the direction
of the current sweeping
your feet out from underneath.
Breathe. Collect your thoughts — they are
but two-cent pieces taking
up space in a piggy bank you had
hoped fattened by now, or full enough
at least for the both of us.
I’ll be here when you’re ready.
Phillip Knight Scott | © 2019
Written for the dVerse Poets Pub challenge: Meet the Bar by changing your perspective. This was an interesting exercise in which I imaged giving myself the advice to think it through before speaking. There’s no rush, and speeding through a problem can only cause more problems. Good advice I often forget.
Second person speaking to yourself create such a strong way of also sharing the advice to yourself with the reader, you grab our attention since it’s also directed to me.
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Yes, I agree about sharing. And your second point is just as important, since that effectively pulls the reader into the narrative.
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I use internal dialogue all the time – sometimes because of our self knowledge we are the best people to speak to – sometimes because of what we think we know about ourselves we are most definitely not – great post – got me thinking about all that
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Thanks! Sometimes talking to ourselves is the best way to learn a bit about us
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Yes the brain is so good at flooding us with chatter that it’s hard to hear over all the noise – it can be surprising
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Very nicely written!!
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Thanks!
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An interesting perspective–the narrater, absent, speaks to “her” as a voice in her head, or maybe a poetic love letter.
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Indeed … such a confusing situation
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Fun, and probably helpful, take on the prompt, as it forces you to look at your processing and evaluate it for effectiveness.
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I love how are you managed to convey the folly of flustered words. Good advice indeed.
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Thanks so much, Vivian 🙂
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😊- my comment box is open now😊
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I could feel the wheels of the brain in this one. Trying to figure it all out!
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Trying and (sometimes) succeeding?
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Good advice for all… think before you speak! Well done!
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I favour second person direct address and the like the twist that you’re giving yourself advice. I imagine you looking at yourself in the mirror, Phillip, and love the phrase ‘eyes tangled in bewilderment’, and the way that the word ‘tangled’ has been used again to describe the flustered words.
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Thanks so much, Kim!!
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Beautiful thought expressed by your work. I heartily appreciate your talent Philip.
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That is so nice! Thanks so much 🙂
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Sometimes we forget…still haven’t figured it out. If you do, let me know.
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Fun self talk
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Always good to have that pause, reassessing perspective. A nice write.
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